The Memes
If Edgar Allen Poe lived today, his protagonists might have been driven mad by memes, rather than ravens or beating hearts...
"The Bells"
I.
Hear the sledges with the bells—
Silver bells!
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the icy air of night!
While the stars that oversprinkle
All the heavens, seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.
II.
Hear the mellow wedding bells,
Golden bells!
What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!
Through the balmy air of night
How they ring out their delight!
From the molten-golden notes,
And all in tune,
What a liquid ditty floats
To the turtle-dove that listens, while she gloats
On the moon!
Oh, from out the sounding cells,
What a gush of euphony voluminously wells!
How it swells!
How it dwells
On the Future! how it tells
Of the rapture that impels
To the swinging and the ringing
Of the bells, bells, bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells!
III.
Hear the loud alarum bells—
Brazen bells!
What tale of terror, now, their turbulency tells!
In the startled ear of night
How they scream out their affright!
Too much horrified to speak,
They can only shriek, shriek,
Out of tune,
In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of the fire,
In a mad expostulation with the deaf and frantic fire,
Leaping higher, higher, higher,
With a desperate desire,
And a resolute endeavor
Now—now to sit or never,
By the side of the pale-faced moon.
Oh, the bells, bells, bells!
What a tale their terror tells
Of Despair!
How they clang, and clash, and roar!
What a horror they outpour
On the bosom of the palpitating air!
Yet the ear it fully knows,
By the twanging,
And the clanging,
How the danger ebbs and flows;
Yet the ear distinctly tells,
In the jangling,
And the wrangling.
How the danger sinks and swells,
By the sinking or the swelling in the anger of the bells—
Of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
In the clamor and the clangor of the bells!
IV.
Hear the tolling of the bells—
Iron bells!
What a world of solemn thought their monody compels!
In the silence of the night,
How we shiver with affright
At the melancholy menace of their tone!
For every sound that floats
From the rust within their throats
Is a groan.
And the people—ah, the people—
They that dwell up in the steeple,
All alone,
And who tolling, tolling, tolling,
In that muffled monotone,
Feel a glory in so rolling
On the human heart a stone—
They are neither man nor woman—
They are neither brute nor human—
They are Ghouls:
And their king it is who tolls;
And he rolls, rolls, rolls,
Rolls
A pæan from the bells!
And his merry bosom swells
With the pæan of the bells!
And he dances, and he yells;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the pæan of the bells—
Of the bells:
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the throbbing of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells—
To the sobbing of the bells;
Keeping time, time, time,
As he knells, knells, knells,
In a happy Runic rhyme,
To the rolling of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells—
To the tolling of the bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells—
Bells, bells, bells—
To the moaning and the groaning of the bells.
Written By: Edgar Allen Poe, published after his death in 1849
"The Memes"
I.
Read the emails with their memes,
Classic memes!
Princes from Nigeria and other sordid schemes!
Babies dancing, dancing, dancing,
Grainy cha-cha CGIs
Lines of hamsters’ endless prancing,
Spongebob squarepants now entrancing
With a theme to bastardize
Epic fails, fails, fails
As the poor, grape lady wails,
As they conquer all your base with poorly-written subroutines
From the memes, memes, memes, memes,
Memes, memes, memes—
From the scamming and the spamming of the memes
II.
See the funny viral memes,
YouTube memes!
Ethernets exhausted by the cyberculture streams!
Just download Adobe Flash,
Watch until your laptops crash,
It’s a trap! End of Ze World!
We love each gag.
It’s the time for PBJ,
Watching Strongbad, Badger Badger, Numa Yei,
Cursing lag.
‘Till professions intervene,
Keyboard cats and Rickrolls now monopolize the screen!
Some are clean,
Some obscene,
Innuendos unforeseen,
Which encumber our machines,
Now a vulture of the culture
Of the memes, memes, memes,
Of the memes, memes, memes, memes,
Memes, memes, memes—
The diffusing and amusing of the memes.
III.
Scroll through countless snarky memes,
Twitter memes!
Harsh, discordant rancor and political extremes!
#FirstWorldProblems oft-discussed
As we #facepalm in disgust
“Bye Felicia,” we assert,
As our psyche grows inert
And decays
The cacophonous polemics draw the mind into the mire
With the paranoid endemic, postulations to conspire
Spitting fire, fire, fire,
In a flame war amplifier
Willy Wonka’s condescension
#Ermahgerd, the reprehension
From Chuck Norris and old cliches
Oh the memes, memes, memes!
How the vitriol demeans
Is it fair?
Grumpy cats we all adore
Mixed with discourse we abhor
And demotivation poster savoir-faire
So the zeitgeist is consumed
And compiled,
And defiled,
‘Till society is doomed
Yet the comedy redeems,
New profile,
Gangam Style!
So we #DealWithIt it seems
The ad hominem recalcitrance fomenting tribal themes
Of the memes—
Of the memes, memes, memes, memes,
Memes, memes, memes,
In the impulse and the insults of the memes
IV.
Feel the power of the memes,
Modern memes
Damaging democracy and propping up regimes,
Cash me ousside day or night,
Neither gracious nor contrite
Just the autocratic leaders we bemoan!
The despots’ every troll,
Type the doom through which we scroll,
On our phone.
And the users—ah the users—
Both informers and abusers,
Feel alone
And who trolling, trolling, trolling,
Like sadistic chaperones
Grow addicted from the scrolling
With no patch or methadone
Like a digital Rasputin
Baby Shark and Shirtless Putin’
Clickbait holes
Politician checks the polls,
As he scrolls, scrolls, scrolls,
Scrolls.
Investment sparked from memes!
Buying stonks on hope and dreams,
More investment sparked by memes!
Elon speaks, the market screams
Killing time, time, time
Of a youthful person’s prime
We’re invested in the memes—
Even teens
Killing time, time, time
As we waste our precious prime,
Pepe frogs infest our memes,
All the memes, memes, memes,
Cancel mobs infest our memes,
Killing time, time, time,
With our screens, screens, screens,
There’s a victim, not a crime,
From cajoling of the memes,
From the memes, memes, memes
The controlling of the memes,
Of the memes, memes, memes, memes,
Memes, memes, memes
The iniquity, ubiquity of memes
Written By: "Weird Ev" Coopersmith & AE Studio
"The Bells"
I.
Hear the sledges with the bells—
Silver bells!
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the icy air of night!
While the stars that oversprinkle
All the heavens, seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.
II.
Hear the mellow wedding bells,
Golden bells!
What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!
Through the balmy air of night
How they ring out their delight!
From the molten-golden notes,
And all in tune,
What a liquid ditty floats
To the turtle-dove that listens, while she gloats
On the moon!
Oh, from out the sounding cells,
What a gush of euphony voluminously wells!
How it swells!
How it dwells
On the Future! how it tells
Of the rapture that impels
To the swinging and the ringing
Of the bells, bells, bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells!
III.
Hear the loud alarum bells—
Brazen bells!
What tale of terror, now, their turbulency tells!
In the startled ear of night
How they scream out their affright!
Too much horrified to speak,
They can only shriek, shriek,
Out of tune,
In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of the fire,
In a mad expostulation with the deaf and frantic fire,
Leaping higher, higher, higher,
With a desperate desire,
And a resolute endeavor
Now—now to sit or never,
By the side of the pale-faced moon.
Oh, the bells, bells, bells!
What a tale their terror tells
Of Despair!
How they clang, and clash, and roar!
What a horror they outpour
On the bosom of the palpitating air!
Yet the ear it fully knows,
By the twanging,
And the clanging,
How the danger ebbs and flows;
Yet the ear distinctly tells,
In the jangling,
And the wrangling.
How the danger sinks and swells,
By the sinking or the swelling in the anger of the bells—
Of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
In the clamor and the clangor of the bells!
IV.
Hear the tolling of the bells—
Iron bells!
What a world of solemn thought their monody compels!
In the silence of the night,
How we shiver with affright
At the melancholy menace of their tone!
For every sound that floats
From the rust within their throats
Is a groan.
And the people—ah, the people—
They that dwell up in the steeple,
All alone,
And who tolling, tolling, tolling,
In that muffled monotone,
Feel a glory in so rolling
On the human heart a stone—
They are neither man nor woman—
They are neither brute nor human—
They are Ghouls:
And their king it is who tolls;
And he rolls, rolls, rolls,
Rolls
A pæan from the bells!
And his merry bosom swells
With the pæan of the bells!
And he dances, and he yells;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the pæan of the bells—
Of the bells:
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the throbbing of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells—
To the sobbing of the bells;
Keeping time, time, time,
As he knells, knells, knells,
In a happy Runic rhyme,
To the rolling of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells—
To the tolling of the bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells—
Bells, bells, bells—
To the moaning and the groaning of the bells.
Written By: Edgar Allen Poe, published after his death in 1849
