The Cash That You Stash

The Cash That You Stash

If Dr. Seuss taught personal finance!

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A Disclaimer

There's nothing specific we've parodied here,

We hope, nonetheless, that the style is clear,

No templates of bells or of Casey's at-bats,

No Hortons, No Lorax, No Cats in their Hats...

(And thus, with estates, we can hope for a truce,

No copyrights breached from descendants of Seuss?)

Read more here:
https://www.thecashthatyoustash.com/

"The Cash That You Stash"

Introduction

We welcome you all to this rhyming narration

Of what is excluded from most education

For courses we cover in most public schooling

Ignore some essentials, and who are we fooling?


Americans study in classes for learnings

With no sense of how they will manage their earnings!

So STEM programs spend for their legions of learners,

Expensive computers and new bunsen burners


Results seem impressive as parents may judge it,

But how many parents will balance their budget?

For money is rarely amassed in a flash,

It’s just much ado about cash that you stash.


For the world can be harsh and a bit unforgiving

To those losing ground while they’re making a living

So listen young persons still lacking in prudence,

You’re tested on topics not studied as students! 


You want to live longer, live better, be healthy?

Then aim, in the long run, to make yourself wealthy!


(Remember, endeavor to be altruistic,

For wealth is a tool not some abstract statistic.

For ‘twixt anapests and the hands deftly-waving,

The wealth we accrue leads to lives we are saving.) 


Budgets

To manage the money and track its amounting,

We first must begin with the rules of accounting.

The math is so simple, to err is a sin…

…It’s “what you take out can’t exceed what’s put in.”


The problem is simple, the answer’s deceptive,

And care must be paid to ensure we’re effective.

A wealthy adult notes each dollar acquired

And tallies the total we’re handed or wired


In turn we compile a list of expenses 

And thoughtful discussion and planning commences

The bills for the TV, the water, insurance,

The lights, and the gas (it will test one’s endurance)!


Add food and the rent and the cars and attire,

The healthcare and childcare you’ll need to acquire…

But thoughtful prevention of overextending

Means knowing the costs and the causes of spending!


With eyes on the future, we’re searching and scanning

For constants in costs for some prosperous planning!


Of course, once the “outs” we have managed to measure,

We earmark a bit for our personal pleasure!

But for every bill, every dime, buck, and fin,

It’s, “what you take out can’t exceed what’s put in.”


Obeying that rule, leaving room for some saving, 

Resisting temptations of opulent craving,

And when urges come, and you’re pondering caving…

…Remember the pathway to riches you’re paving!


And finally, think of one extra partition,

Please find this, some kindness amidst your ambition, 

Make room in your budget for generous sharing,

And give as you prosper to others despairing.


Accounts

With your wisdom and budget your cash will be growing,

And so you’ll consider the places it’s going,

The flavors of storage for all your amounts 

Are, in parlance of banks, varied types of “accounts.”


Obey the one rule where your planning begins

(The one where the “outs” stay much less than the “ins”)

And soon, every month, you’ll be faced with decisions

Of how to select your financial divisions


Accounts for your saving, and those for your checking,

And some for investments in ventures high-tech-ing

Accounts for your bonds and an index of stocks-es

Will serve you far better than closet shoebox-es.


The savings accounts are quite purposely boring,

The money goes in for some safety and storing.

It won’t make you rich or deliver great gains,

But then, it’s still there on the day when it rains.


The checking accounts are for easier spending,

For bills to be paid, for receiving and sending,

They also won’t offer much upside or vision,

But simplify life for receipt and transmission


Investment accounts are the engines for growing,

Which over the years lead to totals mind-blowing,

With patience, persistence, and time for compounding,

The values attained can be truly astounding!


And so, as we save, we should hereby pronounce,

To choose what goes where and account for accounts!


Careers & Income

If what we can make leads to what we keep,  

And that earns returns while we toil and sleep,

Then income obtained is the finest of fuels,

Which springs from the hallways and classrooms of schools!


And here, we return to those schools and their classes,

Of whiteboards and blackboards and labs with their gasses.

Though knowledge is offered from multiple sources,

Let’s focus for now on your school and its courses.


For though every person’s created as equal,

If wealth is the plot, then some STEM is the prequel.

The shortest path skyward’s a field now exploding,

With paths to the stars that begin with some coding! 


(In fairness, not all paths will need a credential,

So make your own site and display your potential,

But certain professions and certain employers,

Require degrees, like the doctors and lawyers.)


And since what goes out can’t exceed what goes in,

Pick areas wisely, the game holds your skin.

(Though I have a soft spot for writers and poets,

The market does not…and the salaries show it)


The day will arrive when you start your careers,

And start earning money like most of your peers.

So even if science and math seem much rougher,

Beginning to work without skills is much tougher.


Of course, there are multiple styles of employment,

With varying incomes for future enjoyment,

Some find an employer with roles needing filling,

With goods to produce and some products for shilling.


While others prefer to strike out on their own,

And manage the risks and rewards they have grown.

A salary’s fine if the business will bustle,

While entrepreneurs learn to sell and to hustle.


The choices are yours, there’s a world for exploring,

And even if “work” seems unthinkably boring,

The hard work today, and some sensible voices

Will offer a wider arrangement of choices.


And choices mean income, the way that you win.

If what you take out can’t exceed what goes in!


Debt

But what about larger, high-cost acquisitions?

Like cars or like houses - expensive additions!

How else could a home, married life to begin,

Avoid sending out more than we’ve taken in?


The answer, for most, is the concept of loaning,

Where payments each month are the gateway to owning,

Of course, every dollar we’ve chosen to borrow

Today is a debt we must pay on tomorrow.


So why would a bank offer money today?

Because we pay interest, so more comes their way.

And details of lives that we rarely can edit,

Define who can borrow, and this, we call “credit.”


The folks who get loans for a mortgage on houses,

Must first prove they’re worthy, not deadbeats or louses,

Then when budgets fail and the bills don’t get paid,

The banks note our errors and lower our grade!


But even adults with their excellent scores,

Should use loans with caution online and in stores,

For nothing creates greater sadness and woe,

Then those spending lives paying off all they owe.


While most take on debt for their cars and their homes

The two are quite different in terms of their loans

A car ain’t a house, as its value reduces,

With each mile driven from roadway abuses.


Unlike many homes, whose values are gaining,

A car loses luster, no use in complaining!

So while lovely homes are a wealth-building stash,

With engines and wheels, sound advice is “pay cash.”


Insurance

When life is uncertain, protect your procurance!

And so, for some prudence, we purchase insurance!

For engines can fail and our bones can be brittle

A fortune paid once? No! Pay often, a little!


Insurance is odd in its own special way,

It aims to diminish big bills you must pay,

Each month, to insurers, a “premium” goes,

Which seems like a silly constraint to impose!


But if your car crashes or roofs bend or fall,

Insurance can cover most costs of it all.

Remember, you choose, in the plans you’ve constructed,

How much they must pay, and how much is “deducted.”


The more you can spare in your monthly-bill-sums,

The less that’s deducted when Murphy’s Law comes.

But some use insurance in lieu of a budget,

And hope when stuff happens, they’ll fix it or fudge it.


This leads to more anger, and frustrated claimants,

Who think they’re entitled to mountains of payments,

Insurance is not for small costs and small bills,

That’s why we must budget for small bumps and spills.


Insurance has truly one cause to exist,

That means, with our payments, we all must persist,

If monthly, for years, not a payment is missed,

When massive bills come, we can trust they’ll assist. 


Long-Term

With money, today may bring struggle and sorrow,

But discipline now yields a brighter tomorrow.

The budgets we pen and the holes that we suture,

Will lead to a wonderful, wealthier future!

A handful of dollars, invested today,

Will grow to a fortune if splurge we delay,

Investments we make as our income advances,

With mixtures of safety and sensible chances,

Will alter the world in impressive proportions,

We better ourselves and can soothe its misfortunes.

The income we earn and the wealth it creates,

Will care for our loved ones and build our estates.



I know it seems distant, and scary, but still,

One day we will die - and for that, write a will.

For wiser and wealthy so soon you will be,

You’ll pass something down through your family tree.


May life be enriched by the love, joy, and laughter,

Of happier, healthier, wealthier after!


Written By: Evan Coopersmith & AE Studio

A Disclaimer

There's nothing specific we've parodied here,

We hope, nonetheless, that the style is clear,

No templates of bells or of Casey's at-bats,

No Hortons, No Lorax, No Cats in their Hats...

(And thus, with estates, we can hope for a truce,

No copyrights breached from descendants of Seuss?)

Read more here:
https://www.thecashthatyoustash.com/

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