Slow Down, You're Wreckin' The Code
If the guys and dolls from "Guys and Dolls" had been developers, rather than gamblers!
"Slow Down, You're Wreckin' The Code"
I woke last night to my bedside phone’s vibration
My CTO was hysterical with fright,
And as I stirred,
And I wished I could refactor,
I began another rushed firefight…
And my conscience would yell, “slow down”,
“Slow down, you’re wrecking the code.”
Conscience would yell, “slow down”
“Slow down, you’re wrecking the code.”
And the technical debt will drown you,
With some silent fail in some distant node,
Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down,
Slow down, you’re wrecking the code!
I hacked away and I monkey-patched in terror
An MVP launched tomorrow, folks insist,
And there I sat, with a giant mug of coffee
Orphaned code in MVCs would persist…
Global variables I’d declare,
In some old, Byzantine script,
Hustle, debug, and swear
Until the feature is shipped
But the technical debt will screw you,
With dependent circles and software bloat,
Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down,
Slow down, you’re wrecking the code!
I found my bed, as the morning sun was rising,
The tests were passed and the CTO was floored
And as I slept, and I dreamt of broadway showtunes,
There were references I’d passed I’d ignored…
And I cautioned myself, slow down,
Slow down, you’re wrecking the code!
Begged my PM, slow down, slow down you’re wrecking the code
And the technical debt will kill you, with spaghetti strands that will soon implode
Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down,
Slow down, you’re wrecking the code!
Written By: "Weird Ev" Coopersmith & AE Studio
"Sit Down, You're Rockin' The Boat"
I dreamed last night I got on the boat to heaven
And by some chance I had brought my dice along
And there I stood
And I hollered "Someone fade me"
But the passengers, they knew right from wrong.
For the people all said sit down,
sit down, you're rockin' the boat
People all said sit down
Sit down you're rockin' the boat.
And the devil will drag you under
By the sharp lapel of your checkered coat,
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,
Sit down you're rockin' the boat.
I sailed away on that little boat to heaven
And by some chance found a bottle in my fist
And there I stood, Nicely passin' out the whisky
But the passengers were bound to resist
For the people all said beware
You're on a heavenly trip
People all said beware
Beware, you'll scuttle the ship.
And the devil will drag you under
By the fancy tie 'round your wicked throat
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down
Sit down, you're rockin' the boat
And as I laughed at those passengers to heaven (laughs)
(Gasps!) A great big wave came and washed me over board!
And as I sank And I hollered "someone save me!"
That's the moment I woke up Thank the lord
And I said to myself, sit down, sit down,
You're rockin' the boat!
Said to myself sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat
And the devil will drag you under With a soul so heavy you'd never float,
Sit down, sit down, sit down
Sit down, sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat
Written By: Frank Loesser, 1950
