Slow Down, You're Wreckin' The Code

Slow Down, You're Wreckin' The Code

If the guys and dolls from "Guys and Dolls" had been developers, rather than gamblers!

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"Sit Down, You're Rockin' The Boat"
I dreamed last night I got on the boat to heaven

And by some chance I had brought my dice along

And there I stood

And I hollered "Someone fade me"

But the passengers, they knew right from wrong.


For the people all said sit down, 

sit down, you're rockin' the boat

People all said sit down

Sit down you're rockin' the boat.

And the devil will drag you under

By the sharp lapel of your checkered coat,

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,

Sit down you're rockin' the boat.


I sailed away on that little boat to heaven

And by some chance found a bottle in my fist

And there I stood, Nicely passin' out the whisky

But the passengers were bound to resist


For the people all said beware

You're on a heavenly trip

People all said beware

Beware, you'll scuttle the ship.

And the devil will drag you under

By the fancy tie 'round your wicked throat

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down

Sit down, you're rockin' the boat


And as I laughed at those passengers to heaven (laughs)

(Gasps!) A great big wave came and washed me over board!

And as I sank And I hollered "someone save me!"

That's the moment I woke up Thank the lord


And I said to myself, sit down, sit down,

You're rockin' the boat!

Said to myself sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat

And the devil will drag you under With a soul so heavy you'd never float,

Sit down, sit down, sit down

Sit down, sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat

Written By: Frank Loesser, 1950

"Slow Down, You're Wreckin' The Code"
I woke last night to my bedside phone’s vibration

My CTO was hysterical with fright,

And as I stirred,

And I wished I could refactor,

I began another rushed firefight…


And my conscience would yell, “slow down”, 

“Slow down, you’re wrecking the code.”

Conscience would yell, “slow down”

“Slow down, you’re wrecking the code.”

And the technical debt will drown you,

With some silent fail in some distant node,

Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down,

Slow down, you’re wrecking the code!


I hacked away and I monkey-patched in terror 

An MVP launched tomorrow, folks insist, 

And there I sat, with a giant mug of coffee

Orphaned code in MVCs would persist…


Global variables I’d declare,

In some old, Byzantine script,

Hustle, debug, and swear

Until the feature is shipped 

But the technical debt will screw you,

With dependent circles and software bloat,

Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down,

Slow down, you’re wrecking the code!


I found my bed, as the morning sun was rising,

The tests were passed and the CTO was floored

And as I slept, and I dreamt of broadway showtunes,

There were references I’d passed I’d ignored…


And I cautioned myself, slow down, 

Slow down, you’re wrecking the code!

Begged my PM, slow down, slow down you’re wrecking the code

And the technical debt will kill you, with spaghetti strands that will soon implode

Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down,

Slow down, you’re wrecking the code!

Written By: "Weird Ev" Coopersmith & AE Studio

"Sit Down, You're Rockin' The Boat"
I dreamed last night I got on the boat to heaven

And by some chance I had brought my dice along

And there I stood

And I hollered "Someone fade me"

But the passengers, they knew right from wrong.


For the people all said sit down, 

sit down, you're rockin' the boat

People all said sit down

Sit down you're rockin' the boat.

And the devil will drag you under

By the sharp lapel of your checkered coat,

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,

Sit down you're rockin' the boat.


I sailed away on that little boat to heaven

And by some chance found a bottle in my fist

And there I stood, Nicely passin' out the whisky

But the passengers were bound to resist


For the people all said beware

You're on a heavenly trip

People all said beware

Beware, you'll scuttle the ship.

And the devil will drag you under

By the fancy tie 'round your wicked throat

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down

Sit down, you're rockin' the boat


And as I laughed at those passengers to heaven (laughs)

(Gasps!) A great big wave came and washed me over board!

And as I sank And I hollered "someone save me!"

That's the moment I woke up Thank the lord


And I said to myself, sit down, sit down,

You're rockin' the boat!

Said to myself sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat

And the devil will drag you under With a soul so heavy you'd never float,

Sit down, sit down, sit down

Sit down, sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat

Written By: Frank Loesser, 1950