Mute Yourself
Silicon Valley isn't Eight Mile, and Musk isn't Eminem, but the opportunity to write this parody comes once in a lifetime.
"Mute Yourself"
Look
If you had one spot, in all social media,
To say anything you ever thought up,
One platform,
Would you purchase it? Or just watch it sink?
He starts a frenzy, rich guy, cash a plenty
He bought like 9-percent-ish already, brash and petty,
Alerts us, and disconcerts us when he seems unsteady,
He takes over,
But he keeps on upsetting,
The old tech clouds, remote crowd disavowed,
He’s wealthy and proud, ponders his schemes out loud,
He’s joking now, wonder what he’s smoking now,
Checkmarks go out, 8 bucks, really? How?
Folks sacked, what brutality,
Oh, the audacity,
Oh, the pugnacity folks,
Is this fact or a hoax or just tightening scope,
The next act is keystrokes to catch flack and upvotes,
A stopgap ‘till they’re broke,
The stock’s backed with his hopes
The dev masses, disposing in droves,
Tracking their lines of code, that's when he’s
Back cutting costs again, like
Some Greek tragedy,
Better adapt as an owner and hope he don’t crash it
He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,
He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,
He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,
Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime
He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,
He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,
He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,
Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime
The mold is breaking, it’s an org-chart reshaping,
No sinecures for the taking,
ESG? No more freeloaders, or slow coders,
The social justice warriors,
He didn’t order scores of “reformers”
His focus gets sharper, hastens departures,
He poses and posits
Sells Dogecoin and profits,
Roams the west coast, he’s known to construct rockets,
VC glows, funding bestowed,
Promotes and deals closed, Bitcoin grows, he nukes martians,
He road shows and barely knows his own products,
A CEO locomotive for progress,
The growth’s explosive, for sure, he schools scholars,
He moves on to the next code proposed,
Flaws exposed and shipped nada
So the next startup is sold, the mob scolds
We suppose its improper, but the stock goes up,
To the moon, de dum, da, da
He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,
He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,
He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,
Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime
He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,
He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,
He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,
Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime
Middle age, tech bro sage, he’ll re-engage
Made his bones inventing PayPal, the golden age,
He was a dev in the beginning, but that’s all changed,
SNL host, then Rogan, and each front page
But he kept founding, like an entrepreneur centaur,
Hype-train conductor and bullshit detector,
Neuralink, sensors, monkeys, investors, goals
That he can’t repress, no siestas, jests
‘Cause he can’t assess beta tests for each company
‘Cause plans, idle hands, and fans don’t build Teslas
Hyperloop’s coming, ‘till then he rides Cessnas, this is success
And he’s pushing so hard, like some workaholic martyr
Taking slackers to the slaughter daily, plus
He’s a charmer, making sets of twins to father doling out his ardor,
Baby mama drama streaming on each
Feed, you think he’s Boring? He’s not,
Another twist of the plot,
He’s dishin’ out the insults, mocking the Thai rescue’s plot,
His russian peace deal’s shot, workin’ from a jet or yacht
His Starlink links Ukraine’s fighters while he’s tweeting…
On the pot!
Solar city, he’s the chairman, panel bro
Making each batt’ry turn down for Watts
So watch the venom get hot.
Check shares he’s bought,
Would you rather a rich exec team that ain’t doin’ squat?
He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,
He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,
He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,
Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime
He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,
He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,
He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,
Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime
You can buy anything you’ve got the cash for, man
Written By: "Weird Ev" Coopersmith & AE Studio
"Lose Yourself"
Look
If you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
to drop bombs
But he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow!
Snap back to reality
Oh, there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy, no
He won't have it, he knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that but he's broke
He's so stagnant, he knows when he goes
back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again, yo
This whole rhapsody
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
The soul's escaping, through this hole that is gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a new world order
A normal life is boring,
But superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, homie grows hotter
He blows, it's all over
These hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's known as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's knows is grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose 'cause here goes the cold water
His hoes don't want him no more, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old partner but the beat goes on
Da da dum, da dum da da
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this motherfucking roof off like two dogs caged
I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed
I've been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhyming and stepped right into the next cypher
Best believe somebody's paying the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9-to-5
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
'Cause man, these goddamn food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard, and it's getting even harder
Trying to feed and water my seed, plus
Teeter totter caught up between being a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screaming on and
Too much for me to wanna stay in one spot,
Another day of monotony
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail I've got
To formulate a plot or I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only motherfucking option,
failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go it's my shot
Feet, fail me not,
This may be the only opportunity that I got
Lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
You can do anything you set your mind to, man
Written By: Eminem, 2002
