Mute Yourself

Mute Yourself

Silicon Valley isn't Eight Mile, and Musk isn't Eminem, but the opportunity to write this parody comes once in a lifetime.

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"Mute Yourself"

Look

If you had one spot, in all social media,

To say anything you ever thought up,

One platform,

Would you purchase it? Or just watch it sink? 


He starts a frenzy, rich guy, cash a plenty

He bought like 9-percent-ish already, brash and petty,

Alerts us, and disconcerts us when he seems unsteady,  

He takes over,


But he keeps on upsetting,

The old tech clouds, remote crowd disavowed,

He’s wealthy and proud, ponders his schemes out loud,

He’s joking now, wonder what he’s smoking now, 

Checkmarks go out, 8 bucks, really? How?


Folks sacked, what brutality,

Oh, the audacity,

Oh, the pugnacity folks,

Is this fact or a hoax or just tightening scope,

The next act is keystrokes to catch flack and upvotes,  

A stopgap ‘till they’re broke,

The stock’s backed with his hopes


The dev masses, disposing in droves, 

Tracking their lines of code, that's when he’s

Back cutting costs again, like

Some Greek tragedy, 

Better adapt as an owner and hope he don’t crash it 


He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,

He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,

He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,

Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime


He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,

He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,

He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,

Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime


The mold is breaking, it’s an org-chart reshaping, 

No sinecures for the taking,

ESG? No more freeloaders, or slow coders,  

The social justice warriors, 

He didn’t order scores of “reformers”

His focus gets sharper, hastens departures,

He poses and posits

Sells Dogecoin and profits,


Roams the west coast, he’s known to construct rockets, 

VC glows, funding bestowed,

Promotes and deals closed, Bitcoin grows, he nukes martians,

He road shows and barely knows his own products,

A CEO locomotive for progress,

The growth’s explosive, for sure, he schools scholars,


He moves on to the next code proposed,  

Flaws exposed and shipped nada

So the next startup is sold, the mob scolds

We suppose its improper, but the stock goes up, 

To the moon, de dum, da, da


He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,

He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,

He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,

Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime


He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,

He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,

He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,

Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime


Middle age, tech bro sage, he’ll re-engage 

Made his bones inventing PayPal, the golden age,

He was a dev in the beginning, but that’s all changed,

SNL host, then Rogan, and each front page


But he kept founding, like an entrepreneur centaur,

Hype-train conductor and bullshit detector,

Neuralink, sensors, monkeys, investors, goals

That he can’t repress, no siestas, jests

‘Cause he can’t assess beta tests for each company 


‘Cause plans, idle hands, and fans don’t build Teslas

Hyperloop’s coming, ‘till then he rides Cessnas, this is success

And he’s pushing so hard, like some workaholic martyr 

Taking slackers to the slaughter daily, plus

He’s a charmer, making sets of twins to father doling out his ardor,  

Baby mama drama streaming on each


Feed, you think he’s Boring? He’s not, 

Another twist of the plot,

He’s dishin’ out the insults, mocking the Thai rescue’s plot, 

His russian peace deal’s shot, workin’ from a jet or yacht

His Starlink links Ukraine’s fighters while he’s tweeting…

On the pot! 


Solar city, he’s the chairman, panel bro  

Making each batt’ry turn down for Watts

So watch the venom get hot.

Check shares he’s bought, 

Would you rather a rich exec team that ain’t doin’ squat?


He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,

He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,

He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,

Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime


He better mute himself, stay secluded, compose shit,

He owns it, he’s gotta pay the debts they owe,

He's gotta remove bots, and costs, get the cash to flow,

Still adds more value this month than Dorsey’s lifetime


You can buy anything you’ve got the cash for, man

Written By: "Weird Ev" Coopersmith & AE Studio

"Lose Yourself"

Look

If you had one shot, or one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted

One moment

Would you capture it or just let it slip?


His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready 

to drop bombs


But he keeps on forgetting 

what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud

He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out

He's choking how, everybody's joking now

The clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow!


Snap back to reality

Oh, there goes gravity

Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked

He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy, no

He won't have it, he knows his whole back's to these ropes

It don't matter, he's dope

He knows that but he's broke


He's so stagnant, he knows when he goes 

back to his mobile home, that's when it's

Back to the lab again, yo

This whole rhapsody

He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him


You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime


You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime


The soul's escaping, through this hole that is gaping

This world is mine for the taking

Make me king, as we move toward a new world order

A normal life is boring, 

But superstardom's close to post mortem

It only grows harder, homie grows hotter

He blows, it's all over

These hoes is all on him


Coast to coast shows, he's known as the globetrotter

Lonely roads, God only knows

He's knows is grown farther from home, he's no father

He goes home and barely knows his own daughter

But hold your nose 'cause here goes the cold water

His hoes don't want him no more, he's cold product


They moved on to the next schmoe who flows

He nose dove and sold nada

So the soap opera is told and unfolds

I suppose it's old partner but the beat goes on

Da da dum, da dum da da


You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime


You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime


No more games, I'ma change what you call rage

Tear this motherfucking roof off like two dogs caged

I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed

I've been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage


But I kept rhyming and stepped right into the next cypher

Best believe somebody's paying the pied piper

All the pain inside amplified by the fact

That I can't get by with my 9-to-5

And I can't provide the right type of life for my family


'Cause man, these goddamn food stamps don't buy diapers

And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life

And these times are so hard, and it's getting even harder

Trying to feed and water my seed, plus

Teeter totter caught up between being a father and a prima donna

Baby mama drama's screaming on and


Too much for me to wanna stay in one spot, 

Another day of monotony

Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail I've got 

To formulate a plot or I end up in jail or shot

Success is my only motherfucking option, 

failure's not


Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go

I cannot grow old in Salem's lot

So here I go it's my shot

Feet, fail me not, 

This may be the only opportunity that I got


Lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime


You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime


You can do anything you set your mind to, man

Written By: Eminem, 2002