Consulting Paradigm

Consulting Paradigm

We don't need to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, nor the one where we harvest our grain...just the lobby of a corporate hotel.

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"Consulting Paradigm"

As I sprint through the lobby of the Marriott West,

I check the time on my phone like some sadistic stress test,

Cause I’ve been building this deck for so long 

That half of the budget set for the case is gone,

But I’m expensive and you’d best believe that I’m worth it

With credentials on the wall from schools that you’ve heard of

The Calvin Klein shirt is tartan, with new doc martens,

My home is a crash pad and my desk is spartan

I’m arrogant as hell ‘cause my life is dope

Spittin’ tropes about the creep of the project scope, still

Finding CAC an hour after COB, 

I’m fielding pings day and night, circlin’ back at the job site


Been wastin’ years of life in the old consulting paradigm, 

Facetime when Zooms suffice in the old consulting paradigm

Got Slack on each device, in the old consulting paradigm

No time for kids or wife in the old consulting paradigm


Accept confabulation and guesstimation

I’m a mercenary arse, upper-caste, the elite,

Selling bids for my soul as I hatch schemes

With prestigious aspirations in the place of dreams 

I’m an educated tool on which you can rely,

See the part in my hair and the knot in my tie?

I’m a rock-star geek who calculates CAGR,

Read my progress reviews and see my MECE swagger 

Now, beds seem seven million light years away

I’m living life in the sky, day after day

I’m 33 now, but will I sleep before 34?

And if I’m on Xanax, will it show?


It’s the life for me, this B2B,

Can McKinsey raise my LTV?


Still wastin’ years of life in the old consulting paradigm

Firms meet my asking price in the old consulting paradigm 

WiFi in paradise in the old consulting paradigm

Quick flights with points entice in the old consulting paradigm


Airpods on the toilet, texting in the shower,

Meeting after meeting, billing by the hour

EBITDA is fallin’, my hotel room is cushy

The engagement is ending, the partner’s gettin’ pushy 

They ask me what I think, but my thoughts are in a spreadsheet

I’m out of value-adds, when will they beach me?

And so I text, and so I fly,

And so I work, until it’s time for MBAs or grad school…


Still burnin’ years of time, in the old consulting paradigm

Still workin’ overtime, in the old consulting paradigm

A ladder each can climb, in the old consulting paradigm

A wealthy, wasted prime, in the old consulting paradigm


I’ll QA/QC, each EOD,

So my client sees an SME

All the suites I see, the life for me,

Please deliver me, dear GMC!

Written By: "Weird Ev" Coopersmith & AE Studio

"Gangsta's Paradise"

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

I take a look at my life and realize there's not much left

'Cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long, that

Even my mama thinks that my mind is gone

But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it

Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of

You better watch how you're talkin', and where you're walkin'

Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk

I really hate to trip but I gotta loc

As they croak, I see myself in the pistol smoke, fool

I'm the kinda G the little homies wanna be like

On my knees in the night, sayin' prayers in the streetlight


Been spendin' most their lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise

Been spendin' most their lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise


Look at the situation they got me facin'

I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the street

So I gotta be down with the hood team

Too much television watchin' got me chasin' dreams

I'm an educated fool with money on my mind

Got my ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye

I'm a loc'd out gangsta set trippin' banger

And my homies is down so don't arouse my anger, fool

Death ain't nothin' but a heartbeat away

I'm livin' life, do or die, what can I say

I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24?

The way things is going, I don't know


Tell me why are we, so blind to see

That the ones we hurt, are you and me?


Been spendin' most their lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise

Been spendin' most their lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise


Power and the money, money and the power

Minute after minute, hour after hour

Everybody's runnin', but half of them ain't lookin'

It's goin' on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin'

They say I gotta learn, but nobody's here to teach me

If they can't understand it, how can they reach me

I guess they can't, I guess they won't

I guess they front, that's why I know my life is out of luck, fool


Been spendin' most their lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise

Been spendin' most their lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise

Keep spendin' most our lives, livin' in the gangsta's paradise


Tell me why are we, so blind to see

That the ones we hurt, are you and me?

Tell me why are we, so blind to see

That the ones we hurt, are you and me?

Written By: Coolio, 1995